Who is in control, here?

Energy = what you get in life.
More specifically the energy that you put out there directly effects the kinds of things you get out of life.
Another point to make along these lines is that while you may not be able to control everything that happens to you in life, you CAN control how you respond to it.

I have been finding myself having these sort of conversations with my friends and family. I may be seeking them out, so they seem like they are more and more prevalent; but it seems to me that more people are talking about this. Or, at least the ones I want to surround myself with.

Sometimes, I feel like life (read: society and our culture) tries to distract us from looking in to the deeper...what's the word I'm looking for here? More than a meaning - in line with direct causation. The almost purpose of our actions. What are we supposed to garner from life?

There seems to be so much anxiety around the day to day - and it's as if people have come to expect it. Embrace it, even. It gives them an excuse to "go blow off steam."

I've remembered something very important to my insides: I was the happiest when I was in Maui. Yes, I am sure the sunshine helped - but I felt the most secure about myself during that time. I had 2 pairs of shoes; a few tank tops; maybe two pairs of shorts; 3 pairs of socks; some underwear and a few bathing suits.
I was in the mud and trees every day - I had no reason to put anything fancy on; anything not natural. I rarely washed my hair with any product and didn't need to wear deodorant.
I didn't feel any societal pressure to have more clothes - to wear makeup or do anything with my hair. It just wasn't practical. I felt no need to "make myself pretty."

I felt a similar way at Burning Man - though dressing up was really fun - and when I came back from that, I understood the weird blues that people talked about getting. The world outside of those zones feels so fictitious - and laughable - and the weirdest part is that everyone has just accepted this as a way of life.

I go out and about, around lots of people, and I feel this weird feeling. Like I don't have the right clothes on. Like I am trying to be a part of a world that I don't belong in. I don't mean that I feel lonely - but I just feel IT from everywhere sometimes.
I have to wonder if it's what other people are sending out there, because I really don't know where its coming from - it doesn't feel like I'm causing it.
If it is, how do I guard myself from receiving unwanted energy? Because, to be perfectly honest, I like being comfortable and not caring about what I wear or how I look. But when you go out, what person doesn't feel like they could have done at least 5 different things better?
Being self critical is kinda dumb, but sometimes it's a hard habit to just break.