The Beginning Again

I have started the beginning of my massage school again.

Let me state this clearly, before I forget and start rambling - life will give you options and paths to take. It is YOUR CHOICE to take the paths presented, and how you RESPOND and REACT to things makes up  WHO YOU ARE at your core.
I was given the opportunity to attend school last year. I was introduced to a group of amazingly nice people who all had different reasons for attending. It was an great time to open my mind and realize/see that there are obviously other ways of going about this path. There are tons of ways to get in to body healing and energy work.
I also acknowledge I was being selfish the last time I came to this school. I wanted to get more out of it then give, and I was still trying to control not only my world, but my friends' as well. I think I was vying for control in any manner, as I felt out of control with so much else. And that blew up in my face, as we well know. Now, I suppose "blowing up in my face" is a harsh way of putting it, but to each their own. I know how I invited some questionable things into my own space - I take responsibility for that - and I am trying so hard to let go of my fear of it happening again. It is OK to be open, but it is very important to only bring those you truly want around.
You don't have to save anyone.
You do not HAVE to spend your time trying to help others see the beauty.

This go 'round, I am excited to say that I want to bring more help to others. I want to use my background knowledge to help myself as well, and confront the misgivings I had before. I am excited to dedicate myself fully to this transition.
I have doors open to me now that were just barely open to me before.
I have a new found confidence in who I am and who I want to be.
I have more friends around me who have similar interests in the massage field - and in the field of just generally wanting to help others.
I have people who help me create safe spaces where I can talk about the weird things without fear of judgement.

THESE PEOPLE EXIST! Work to be like them; work to surround yourself with them. Positive attracts positive. Take the steps to be the better person today!

Thank you all who read this. It is my brain unleashed. Sometimes it doesn't make sense - but sometimes life doesn't either.