Recounting Your Spiritual Path Can Be Scary

The house I live in is VERY unique.
With 9 (really, 10) total people living under one roof, it sounds like a whole mess of chaos. But in this somewhat chaotic life we ALL live, this house has provided balance and stability and support for us all in similar ways.
We are learning more about each other every days and working with each other to help one another grow in the ways we have all expressed interest in. One of these ways of helping to understand one another has been to discuss our spirituality in a group setting at our weekly meetings. As a house, we sit down and we listen to who ever is talking and ask questions from a position of wanting to understand and help each other.

This last week was my turn and I want to post here what I said in what I assume will be far more words than I actually spoke. My intention in sharing this with the internet is that I do not feel I should hide my beliefs, but do not fully understand who all would be interested in knowing where I came from and where I would like to go.
So, lets get started, shall we?

I came from a nuclear family of my Mother, my Father, and myself. My mothers parents were definitely around and involved in my life growing up; but my father's parents were less involved, had far more grand children and passed on when I was young.
From what I understand both my parents grew up with religion, but their involvement in it was minimal if at all. My dad had stronger beliefs than my mother - or possibly more strict, if strong isn't the appropriate word to use. As far as I know, neither parent felt the need to attend church after leaving their families to raise their own.
I never went to church with my parents. The few times I did attend (and I mean I can count the times on one hand) it was with other family members or when I stayed with a friend. My parents weren't shy about explaining "God" or morals or religions, but there was the definite feeling that I never had to subscribe to ANY belief system myself.
This lead me to inquire after other religions and spiritual beliefs through out my adolescence. I looked in to Wicca, Hinduism, Buddhism, Christianity and so many others, I have lost track. High school was a definite starting point for me when it came to exploring these different aspects of spirituality as it exposed me to different cultures for class work. We discussed class and caste systems; we placed ourselves in another cultures shoes and we learned compassion for the struggles that the various religions have and have had in the past.
I remember my mother having a particular attachment to a psychic named Sylvia Browne, and the few things I picked up from her (thanks to day time TV and Montel Williams) I kept. There was a resounding idea that the way things happen, out of all of the possible outcomes, the way that it DID happen, is the way it was meant to happen. Aside from fate, from a destiny, from "someone else controlling" the situation; aside from having free will and choice - they way things HAVE HAPPENED is exactly and precisely how it HAD TO HAPPEN in order for things to progress - so there is no real point in wondering that what if's. This helped me get over some devastating heartbreaks and life events. To acknowledge that actions simply cannot be undone and that the only option is to move forward was the best thing for my brain (to simply shut off that never ending nagging feeling that there was SOMETHING I could have done to change the outcome).
 
I guess I just took a bit from every piece of the puzzle. I found some common themes and try to live my life by the general golden rule of "treat others the way you wish to be treated." The idea of Karma intrigues me, as I went very atheistic and agnostic for awhile, claiming that if it couldn't be proven then it was less than real. But karma, qi, chi, energy - these are things I can understand and believe in as far as "being proven." I mean, it was proven enough for the science community that everything is and has energy, so why not extrapolate that energy exchange does indeed come around to you by the end? The energy you put out comes back to you, or at the very least out in to the universe and effects many things. So, I became conscious of the energy I am putting out there and what kind of energy I would personally like to interact with.

And then. Then, I had what I would consider a spiritual experience. And yes, it took psychedelics to get me there, and I am ok with that. Without getting in to many details, I will say that I left my body in a moment of ecstasy and saw the universe and all of the energy around me. Everything was light; from little bits scattered among the darkness to what looked like galaxies forming and spinning and colliding. And there was movement and a sense of joining - all these pieces were moving towards a central point; a greater light. And then I opened my eyes. And I was no longer joined with my partner as a whole being of light. And I was in a dark room with no windows. But that feeling of being connected with everything remained, and I carry it with me to this day.
That experience has helped me form my beliefs today. That quite simply (and I wish I knew where these specific terms and ideas came from) the universe broke in to thousands and millions and billions of pieces so that it may experience itself and everything else with form and without. We are all the same light inside, though some pieces have diminished and some have grown stronger. Some pieces have joined while others fraction off to experience even more bits of the world and universe.
So I am I and you are you and we are all one in the same. From the smallest blade of grass, to the largest rock. From the darkest human, to the sweetest baby. From the lion to the antelope to the ant and the spider. We are all experiencing things as we are meant to - for we are all moving towards the greater light; to truly experience what it is like to be whole once again before splitting off a thousand times over.
I feel a spiritual connection with many and all. We were once the same energy, we will be there again. In some way, some form; we will combine forces and it will be glorious.
Until then, we have been given these bodies to host THIS experience, bad or good or however you want to paint it.
I look forward to finding that light source with everyone.
I am grateful for every opportunity to grow and get closer to the light.

Please, share with me your light and I will continue to share mine. <3